I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
