Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
