Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
