Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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