Your mouth is God's brothel.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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