Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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