one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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