I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize