Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
