if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
