I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
