so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
