apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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