Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
