it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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