I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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