I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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