i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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