when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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