Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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