Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
