WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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