U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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