Michael Bay diarrhea
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
its liver damage thursday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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