Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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