the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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