woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think I just sharted jello shots
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
