he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
