Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
