You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
