you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
