Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
