C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Your dad touched me again.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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