Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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