Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
