That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just gargled with NyQuil
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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