K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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