My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
