what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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