Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
