Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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