Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
