I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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