IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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