my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
