I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
