the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
