3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
