whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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