so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
