He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
