my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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