dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize