I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
