do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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