alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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