Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think people are normalizing furries
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
