also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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