Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
