giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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