I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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