Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
