After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
