Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize