can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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