the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
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