I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
