Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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